Rimworld screenshot of two colonists and fire

Rimworld Story – Hiswick #2: Poorly Orchestrated Hell

Welcome! This Rimworld Story is the second episode of a series. Read the first episode, Hiswick #1: A Good Day, for an introduction to the characters and read about the previous events.

Kevin + Lumi?

Kevin and Lumi started the day getting to know each other. They talked about their views on society, life’s annoyances, favorite foods, and eating habits.

Kevin boasted about his skills and his ability to get things done. He was hoping that Lumi would be impressed. If she was, she didn’t let on.

Later, Lumi managed to charm Kevin by talking about her honor. He liked that he could depend on Lumi. In a settlement of just three people, honor is critical. However, Kevin just turned his back and didn’t express his appreciation either visibly or verbally.

Rimworld Story Lumi and Kevin Socializing

There’s something to be learned here. Often, we don’t share how we feel. We hold back.

Food Prep

Kevin continued with his chores. He dragged the stiff and slightly bloated carcass of Wilhelmina–the pet donkey that died of a heart attack in the previous episode–to the waste zone.

Before leaving the donkey on the ground, Kevin began gnawing on the raw carcass (!), fur and all. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “grabbing a piece of ass.”

This is indicative of my first error. Was it the first error? Not sure.

Anyways, I had created a butcher spot and table, but I had not assigned a bill or anyone to work it. I knew that it needed to be done but I had forgotten where to configure the job bill. Has this ever happened to you?

The other issue was that I had put down a bonfire, but it had not yet been built. Therefore, no raw meat could be cooked. The whole food preparation process was broken.

Mad Hare

I think many of us who play Rimworld have had a mad hare jump-attack our colonists. This Rimworld story is not new. The terrible tragedies go on still to this day.

Legend was the victim of a man-eating rabbit this time. Legend ran but it nipped and tore into his left leg and arm. Still, Legend fought back but not very well. I mean, who is prepared for a soft furry rabbit attack? A rabbit with a maxed-out agility score, sharp front teeth, and four times the rabbit’s foot luck with every roll of the dice.

By the time Lumi came around the corner with her rifle, the damage had been done. Legend wandered aimlessly in pain, staggered, and then fell. There was too much blood loss. Legend did get to his bed and Kevin did retrieve the medical supplies, but it was too late. Legend crumpled and died. There was never a chance to begin treating his wounds.

Rimworld Story Legend Dies from Mad Hare

Legend Called Kevin a Spider

That’s what I’m thinking started it. Sometimes it’s the smallest thing. At some point earlier, before Legend died, he had called Kevin a “spider.” That’s tough, man. I don’t think Kevin ever got over it.

Maybe it was Wilhelmina’s spoiling, the raw muscle tissue that he ate.

Or maybe it was the bloody death of Legend right there next to his bed.

Or maybe it was Kevin’s sleeping bag on the damp cave floor. He hates sleeping on the floor.

Not sure. Anyways, Kevin became a so-called break risk. He was losing it!

First, it started with him staring at the clouds. Then, he started gorging himself on all the simple and survival meals. I mean ALL the food. He was up all night trying to eat himself to sanity.

Finally, in the morning, Kevin went to bed…just as Lumi got up.

Lotus-Sitting Lumi

Lumi buried Legend. She put away the medical supplies that never made it to Kevin. Then, she went out by the anima tree to meditate.

The anima tree and colonist meditation are the first of the Rimworld Royalty DLC content that I experienced, I think. I had given the colonists an hour a day to meditate. Lumi’s stress level lowered as little green meditation animations emanated from her as she sat there in the lotus position.

I like the fact that meditation was added to the game and in such an in-depth way with game-relevant mechanics. Meditation matters.

Personally, I find ten or fifteen minutes of mindfulness meditation helpful. Meditation can be considered as practice for living in the moment, now, which can enhance the hours and days of our lives.

Rimworld Royalty with Humble Partner stamp
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Firefight I

Kevin was starting to feel better. He got up and began to attend to the queue of jobs that needed to be done. Unfortunately, due to his scarred toe, he did everything excruciatingly slow.

An alert about an incoming attack from another faction popped up. The sandbags had not been placed and the colony was down one defender. Lumi is a good shot though so I didn’t worry too much.

Eventually, a lone attacker from the Treaty of Tol faction arrived. Her name was “Cai.” Lumi was able to injure her quickly, though not without sustaining an injury herself.

The prison had still (!) not been completed; it had been planned but the colonists did not get around to it. So Cai just lay there on the ground.

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Firefight II

As happens, the short shootout caused a brush fire. An injured Lumi and Kevin started stomping out the flames. The fire expanded and moved in the light breeze. Cai was almost consumed in the smoke. Fortunately, it started to rain, which helped dampen the ground and slow the spread of the fires.

Rimworld Story Bush Fire

Lumi went to her bed in need of medical attention.

Kevin continued to stamp out the last of the fires. Cai got up and started limping away. As she started moving through the garden, Kevin pulled out his revolver and shot her dead. He then went inside and tended to Lumi’s wounds.

Bedside Manners

Lumi was in bed for a while. In addition to her injury, she got food poisoning too. Great.

Kevin talked to Lumi as he walked by with a dead squirrel in his hand.

Kevin and Lumi chatted about crazy seals.
Lumi and Kevin chatted about fighting barbarians.
Kevin gabbed about wearing space suits with Lumi.
Kevin and Lumi gabbed about xenohumans.

As I mentioned, all this chatting and gabbing with a dead squirrel in his hand.

Kevin picked berries and fed Lumi, who was slowly starving.

How NOT to Play Rimworld

If you play Rimworld, by this point it may have occurred to you that I did not manage the colony well. If so, you would be right. You’re reading a lot of rookie mistakes. I hadn’t played in a while I was relearning the game for this Rimworld story. This may very well be my worst game.

Rather than dwell on how much I suck at Rimworld, let’s look at a couple of examples of things I did wrong so that we can learn from my mistakes.

Bedrooms and Prison

One of the first things you want to do is build decent bedrooms and a small room to serve as a prison. This is Rimworld 101, right? Here is an image of the rooms I planned for the colonists to build.

Rimworld Story Bedrooms

Look! They aren’t even done.

One can debate the best starting size for the initial bedrooms, but what is shown is good. The problem is that I waited far too long to get around to this. In my defense, I was trying to get the cave built out for such accommodations, but it just was not happening fast enough.

Wind Turbine

This one kind of cracks me up. My placement of the wind turbine is hilariously bad. I usually place solar panels or use steam fissures, so my haphazard placement was just plain wrong.

There needs to be open space on both sides of a wind turbine to generate power. Lush forests on both sides, not so much.

Rimworld Story Wind Turbine

Rimworld Story Abbreviated

I thought this Rimworld story would be a lot longer but it’s kind of doomed. I’ll continue if you really want, but I’m not sure I can pull the two remaining colonists out of this catastrophic nosedive.

As a Dark Souls player might say, I need to “git gud” first. Certainly, I can’t write a Rimworld Royalty review like this. I need to play some more, work on my chops.

Hopefully, you still found this Rimworld story entertaining to read.

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Ernest Scribner
Ernest Scribner

Practitioner of games. Caster of words. Shares game wisdom, stories, and shenanigans with fellow adventurers.

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